“If someone gets pushy about it, tell them to fuck off!” (Marijuana: Telling Teenagers the Truth about Smoking Pot)

“Does the fascination with cows run in the family?” (an e-mail from my sister’s friend)

Finally:

“It needs to learn how to differentiate between one name, two names and three names - when we are angry, we will say its full name: Horace Hamlet Piglet!” (my sister, on what we should name our dog when we get one and how we should address it)